Dating apps and websites have surged in popularity and are used so widely all over the world today. The rapidity and stress that the modern world brings with it has led to this rise in online dating. People just do not have the time to go out and meet new people to form potential romantic relationships. Just like everything else in our lives, the little screen in our pockets has taken over this aspect of life too. But online dating is depressing and can be terrible for most kinds of people; it isn’t for everyone. Rejection can cause insecurity and excessively indulging in online dating can make one lose touch with reality. Here are 11 signs that online dating just isn’t the right thing for you –
11 Signs that you’re Casually Dating the Right Guy
You have a large social circle
Online dating caters mostly to people who do not usually mix with people beyond their family or work circles, whether because they’re shy or busy. It gives them the opportunity to meet new people. If you already have a large social circle of friends, acquaintances and co-workers then chances are that online dating really isn’t for you. It might even be a little unnecessary since meeting a partner through mutual friends is still an extremely common way.
You’re an introvert
This seems like a contradiction. Surely, introverts are the very people that online dating is meant for, right? Wrong. While it is easier for introverts to get along with people online than in social settings, the reality is that online dating is only a way to meet people initially. The goal is to meet in person, and if you’re someone who comes across as extremely shy, nervous or closed off in public meetings, especially when you’re meeting someone you like, then online dating isn’t the best thing for you. Introverts are much better off meeting their partners through mutual friends and striking up a friendship first, so that their partner understands them better.
You’re scared to tell people you met your partner on Tinder
Think about it. Suppose online dating goes extremely well for you and you meet someone. Now when it comes to introducing the person to your family and friends, can you easily tell them that you met the person on an online dating app? If your answer is no, then maybe online dating is not for you. The stigma attached with online dating is real and if you fear telling your loved ones that you met your future boyfriend or girlfriend on a dating app, then it is best not to get involved in online dating at all. You cannot fabricate lies to hide the truth. Some people still think that online dating involves some kind of desperation and that it’s not as “good” as meeting people through friends or by chance. If the idea of your friends and family thinking that terrifies you then maybe online dating isn’t the best option for you.
You focus on appearance too much
It seems like online dating might be the best platform for shallow individuals but this could not be further from the truth. Online dating does work, inherently, at a superficial level. We swipe left or right mostly based on what the other person looks like. But shallow people are the ones who miss out on the wonderful connections that are to be made in the world of online dating. To get the most of your online dating experience, it is important to be someone who can look past superficial, physical imperfections and see the person for what they are beneath. In real life, even the most superficial person isn’t so superficial as they can be online. When we meet someone in real life, we can build connections despite appearance and later go on to realize that the person could be a potential partner even if we didn’t think so in the beginning. But in the online world, we reject people right off the bat because they don’t look like our ideal partner and end up missing out on somebody who could be a perfect match.
You don’t have enough time
Online dating is, essentially, made for people who are too busy to engage in the real world of dating and socializing. But it also requires an insane amount of patience to actually find someone online. The process involves sifting through hundreds of profiles, selecting people, devoting enough time to talk to each one of them and then meeting a few of them – all of this and the result is most likely to be that you don’t find anyone. And repeat. Online dating undoubtedly requires a certain amount of time, without which it is just futile to even engage in it.
You have too much time
On the contrary, anybody who has far too much free time on their hands is probably not the best person for the world of online dating. Online dating requires a certain amount of tact. It is a sort of game, and if you’re constantly glued to your phone, waiting for the reply to a text then you run the risk of coming off as clingy or desperate, neither of which are something you want to be. Someone who is online 24/7 gives off the impression that they have no life, which can be off-putting for your potential partners.
Rejection impacts your self-esteem
When looking for partners online, rejection becomes a part of daily life. You have to suffer through countless rejections and failed connections before you find the person you were looking for. But if you’re someone who is very negatively affected by rejection, then it is better to not dabble in online dating. Rejection makes online dating very depressing. Constantly failing to make an impression and create lasting relationships weigh heavily on one, and can make someone extremely insecure about their physical appearance as well as personality.
You have severe depression
Depression is so common among people today. Individuals who suffer from the more extreme kinds of depression find it way harder to reach out to people online and reply to texts, since it takes too much of their emotional energy. Going to class or work, on the other hand, is a compulsory activity that they may force themselves to do no matter how they feel, which is why it can be easier to meet and maintain relationships with people in real life. Online dating can be difficult for people with mental health issues and the idea that meeting the right person will cure your depression is a mindset that needs to go.
You’re easily addicted to social media
If you’re one of those people who downloads an app and then can’t stop using it for weeks, then online dating really isn’t for you. Someone who is easily addicted to using their phone and social media can find themselves using the online dating app constantly. Repeatedly checking the app, and using it all the time to mindlessly swipe through profiles, without thinking can be detrimental to your mental health, as well as hinder the entire process of finding a perfect match.
You hate small talk
It is impossible to avoid the small talk that comes first with every swipe. Whenever you meet a person online, they’re going to ask you how you’re doing and what you like doing. It’s almost inevitable, and if your ideal partner is someone who starts the conversation by asking you about your opinion on Marxism then perhaps online dating isn’t for you.
You don’t like ‘playing the game’
Admit it or not, online dating is a bit of a game. The carefully curated profile, the calculatedly selected pictures and witty one-liners to impress potential matches; online dating is a kind of game where you sell yourself, hoping someone swipes right. It’s not about being true to your feelings or being very open. People often spend several hours crafting a perfect response. If you’re someone who is repulsed by this entire idea, then online dating definitely isn’t for you.
Online dating can be depressing and difficult and it definitely isn’t for everyone. Studies have shown that if you’re already prone to depression, online dating and the rejection, insecurity and anxiety it brings with it can really hurt your mental health. Learn to recognize the signs and if online dating isn’t for you, then admit that to yourself and move on. Love isn’t that difficult to find, even without fancy apps.